role play

how many roles are you playing in your life?

a stranger on the street
a commuter in a train
a shopper in a mall
a colleague at the work place
a friend in a social meeting
a role-model to your protege
a sibling of your brother and sister
a child of your parent
a spouse to your marriage partner
a member of the family
... ...
...

i'm just an ordinary man, but i know how my life is intricately weaved with all those around me. i could have been a i-me-myself, lived my life the way i enjoy with no consideration to any one else, and reap all the benefits for none other than myself. i could get what i want in the end, but where is the joy knowing i would have to stand on top of a mountain of carcasses? i almost took this path. but soon i was able to see how my day-to-day behaviour and the choices i made affects all those around me. i became very caution with every decision i made. it wasnt about making everyone happy, somebody has to give and somebody have to take for a better tmr. my ultimate aim is a happily-ever-after even if it means putting me in the disadvantage. i'm no saint. i wont make myself bleed to death and i dont get it right all the time, but at least i'm trying.

merry christmas

fear

have i told you before that i lived in fear of being too happy?

i say it now: the gloomiest day in my life happened on days which i thot were worth calling for celebrations.

i would be in the middle of a joyous celebration when a phone call came to crush the occasion; or i was told a tragic news before i can share my gleeful encounter that happened earlier. perhaps they were mere coincidences. well, i could also be just damn bloody suay lah. whatever it maybe, i do think twice about having too much fun.