Saturday, 28 January 2006
Sunday, 15 January 2006
2006... the first stumble
my 自尊心 is getting me to no where again. i feel reali terrible having to lie my way through and being so irresponsible today...
since i've got no balls, why did i accept it in the first place???
i should have expected that to happen. i knew i'll chicken out the last minute. i knew i'm such a wimp... why did i still let it happen!!!
why... why am i like this! 我真的觉得我自己很失败。
i never thought of the consequence when i do things... whenever i'm about to fail or when i starts to betray myself, all i know is 逃避。
i'm so-called an adult. but i feel like a child within... an immature one. will i be ready in 3 yrs to face the greater challenge?????????????
since i've got no balls, why did i accept it in the first place???
i should have expected that to happen. i knew i'll chicken out the last minute. i knew i'm such a wimp... why did i still let it happen!!!
why... why am i like this! 我真的觉得我自己很失败。
i never thought of the consequence when i do things... whenever i'm about to fail or when i starts to betray myself, all i know is 逃避。
i'm so-called an adult. but i feel like a child within... an immature one. will i be ready in 3 yrs to face the greater challenge?????????????
Wednesday, 11 January 2006
free time = 24/7
Life has been tough. Sitting around all day at home isn't an easy thing for such an active person like me.
I've got heaps of time in hand, but it never occur to me that I should spend some of it updating my blog. Not that i dont want. But my 56k modem is taking its own sweet time. U wont believe how long it took me to get this posted up. 还是别提了。I'll rather be doing other things when I'm online.
Just came back from a short trip to my relative's place in Malaysia. It was pretty nice to be there in the kampong village, 清静 and refreshing. There was rain again yesterday, but I wasn't particularly annoyed. The timely rain, together with 不远传来的浪声 and 柔柔的海风 made the place even more perfect for some relaxation time alone.
sigh... 今天做什么好？I didn't manage to find any work, or any other thing to do. So much time at hand... making life pretty bored at times. It has been “过一天算一天”。
Sometimes go swimming hoping to get a tan. Not recently though, bcos of the rain.
Sometimes go gym. Haven been to any gym for ages, cos I never like such places. Trying to get myself to like it.
Sometimes go east coast. Just learnt how to blade so 偶尔 will go there and blade.
Sometimes go shopping. Went on weekdays, cos less ppl, but that means I'm usually alone.
Sometimes go library. Trying to get myself to like reading too. But it seems that my adrenalin is forbidding it.
still got one and a half month to go...
I've got heaps of time in hand, but it never occur to me that I should spend some of it updating my blog. Not that i dont want. But my 56k modem is taking its own sweet time. U wont believe how long it took me to get this posted up. 还是别提了。I'll rather be doing other things when I'm online.
Just came back from a short trip to my relative's place in Malaysia. It was pretty nice to be there in the kampong village, 清静 and refreshing. There was rain again yesterday, but I wasn't particularly annoyed. The timely rain, together with 不远传来的浪声 and 柔柔的海风 made the place even more perfect for some relaxation time alone.
sigh... 今天做什么好？I didn't manage to find any work, or any other thing to do. So much time at hand... making life pretty bored at times. It has been “过一天算一天”。
Sometimes go swimming hoping to get a tan. Not recently though, bcos of the rain.
Sometimes go gym. Haven been to any gym for ages, cos I never like such places. Trying to get myself to like it.
Sometimes go east coast. Just learnt how to blade so 偶尔 will go there and blade.
Sometimes go shopping. Went on weekdays, cos less ppl, but that means I'm usually alone.
Sometimes go library. Trying to get myself to like reading too. But it seems that my adrenalin is forbidding it.
still got one and a half month to go...
Monday, 2 January 2006
“要相信奇迹一定会出现... 一定会。”
这句话出自于《我和僵尸有个约会III》.
these few days, 心中有一颗很大的石头，一直放不下.
(the ichiro have not reach the guy in US. i was worried sick for the pass weeks. 吃饭想、睡觉想、冲凉想... but sill clueless... i reali donno what to do...)
last night after watching 《僵尸》, i actually told myself to believe in 奇迹. I oso prayed... to who ever can hear me for a happy ending.
did 'someone' really heard me and answer to my calling or was it a 奇迹? the problem was solved without me doing much...
relieved...
these few days, 心中有一颗很大的石头，一直放不下.
(the ichiro have not reach the guy in US. i was worried sick for the pass weeks. 吃饭想、睡觉想、冲凉想... but sill clueless... i reali donno what to do...)
last night after watching 《僵尸》, i actually told myself to believe in 奇迹. I oso prayed... to who ever can hear me for a happy ending.
did 'someone' really heard me and answer to my calling or was it a 奇迹? the problem was solved without me doing much...
relieved...
