I have goals, both family & work. I know what I intend to achieve for my family; I understood where my career aspirations lie. I'm doing well at work. family matters maybe still a bit sticky. everything has been smooth sailing & appears to fall nicely in place. but whenever I ask myself where are all these leading to? I'm lost for word.
I'm still wandering.
I come to realise what I'm still lacking is a purpose. being such a geek, let's call this a point of singularity where all other stuffs just get suck in. it is a point where I can aligned all my actions; a point that makes everything seems so vivid. goals are merely tick-in-the-box if there is no purpose. I have enough of checking boxes... I need a purpose, one that wld allow me call my goals as milestones, that will pave the way to a ultimate end state I long for. is it too late to arrive at such self-realisation? shrugs. I'm glad I still got it in the end.
I set my goals & have been living my life based on a set of principles which I slowly acquired in my life, usually shaped by social stigma, cultural values & family traditions. things get done & accepted. everyone is happy. I am happy too but... I can't be sure if I'm happy tt I did sth I like or bcos everyone else is happy?
yuck...let's stop this here. this is getting a bit emo :p in a nut shell, what I am driving at is I need to find a purpose! I'm doing the bare minimum to get things done. I'm lacking the motivation & inspiration to make breakthroughs. and these have to come frm a sense of purpose! I really need to find one... real soon. anyone know how to go about getting one?
as for my love life, I have no idea where it is getting. don't worry, I'm not gay. I love to love & be loved. I just thot it isn't fair to drag someone into my mess until I'm relatively sorted. but e worrying thing is, I'm not very good at getting to conclusions, despite spending so much brain juices. i either hit dead-end or ended in a infinite loop. perhaps all these logics are wrong... shrugs again. nonetheless for now, I'll just remain passive. I wont seek for love actively, but I'm not going to run away, if love find its way to my heart.
enough lamenting for the day. i shld be focusing in class.
I'm still wandering.
I come to realise what I'm still lacking is a purpose. being such a geek, let's call this a point of singularity where all other stuffs just get suck in. it is a point where I can aligned all my actions; a point that makes everything seems so vivid. goals are merely tick-in-the-box if there is no purpose. I have enough of checking boxes... I need a purpose, one that wld allow me call my goals as milestones, that will pave the way to a ultimate end state I long for. is it too late to arrive at such self-realisation? shrugs. I'm glad I still got it in the end.
I set my goals & have been living my life based on a set of principles which I slowly acquired in my life, usually shaped by social stigma, cultural values & family traditions. things get done & accepted. everyone is happy. I am happy too but... I can't be sure if I'm happy tt I did sth I like or bcos everyone else is happy?
yuck...let's stop this here. this is getting a bit emo :p in a nut shell, what I am driving at is I need to find a purpose! I'm doing the bare minimum to get things done. I'm lacking the motivation & inspiration to make breakthroughs. and these have to come frm a sense of purpose! I really need to find one... real soon. anyone know how to go about getting one?
as for my love life, I have no idea where it is getting. don't worry, I'm not gay. I love to love & be loved. I just thot it isn't fair to drag someone into my mess until I'm relatively sorted. but e worrying thing is, I'm not very good at getting to conclusions, despite spending so much brain juices. i either hit dead-end or ended in a infinite loop. perhaps all these logics are wrong... shrugs again. nonetheless for now, I'll just remain passive. I wont seek for love actively, but I'm not going to run away, if love find its way to my heart.
enough lamenting for the day. i shld be focusing in class.
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